Ahh, it finally feels like summer has arrived....for many reasons. First, the cold rainy weather has left us and brought back dry, warm days. Second, Sam finished up a hectic round of teaching summer school that was a bit more work than he bargained for. But now he has the next 6 weeks or so off! (Well, he won't ever stop working but he is technically on vacation now.) And third, we left town for four nights for a mini vacation in Oceanside.
We finally had good (amazing, really) weather. It wasn't since Labor Day weekend last year that we were at the beach and were able to sit out on the deck - usually we were dodging rain storms and waiting for the wind to knock the power out! So we were due for a wonderful beach weekend and that is what we got! 
My parents joined us and they brought Avery with them, so it was even nicer that Morgan had her fabulous cousin to play with. Avery was a patient companion and sand castle-builder extraordinaire! A couple days later, my sister Diane and niece, Marissa, came to visit after just having flown in from Maui. It was so great to spend family time together at the beach.
And with the nice weather, there was plenty of time to walk on the beach, enjoy the tide pools around the point during the low tides, and even go to the June Dairy Parade in Tillamook. I remember going as a kid and it is definitely a cute, small town tradition. Their theme this year was "Butter Than the Rest," and there was lots of butter decor. They passed out the usual candy, but not many parades also pass out cheese and pepperoni sticks! It was Morgan's first parade and she had been excited for it for the entire week. She was especially thrilled by the clowns and kept calling for them to come over - no fears there!
I know I have said it before, but the older I get the more and more grateful I am that our family has this house in Oceanside. The little town hasn't changed much since I was a kid, and every time I go I am reminded of happy childhood memories at the beach with my family. I love sharing that with Morgan as she grows and seeing her fall in love with Oceanside too.
It seems in a matter of a couple weeks, our little Morgan has gone from being our sweet, easy-to-parent toddler, to a big girl able to throw a serious tantrum in fractions of a second, say "NO!" to everything we ask or offer her, and melt down in a pile of seemingly authentic tears right before our eyes. Who is this child?!? Apparently, our dear daughter has an alter ego: SUPERTODDLER!
Needless to say, it's been a challenging couple of weeks, that has left Sam and I raising our voices, rolling our eyes, and laughing at how crazy our daughter and lives have become. And in the back of my mind, I keep telling myself, "Ohhhhh, THIS is where the term 'terrible twos' comes from." I get it now. I was hoping we had escaped all the nonsense that most other parents have to go through with their kids, but I was wrong.
Morgan was just saving it up, brewing things in her quick little mind, until she finally figured out that she wanted to be the one in charge...not us. It's her way of testing our love, I guess, making sure that we still love her to pieces regardless of the things she says ("NO!" and "I don't like ____" to everything), or the things she does (the opposite of pretty much every daily task). And yes, we still love her to pieces, but there are moments. Unfortunately, this kind of behavior seems to be fairly contagious because I find myself with a short fuse and an inner desire to blow up in a temper tantrum as well. Not the greatest role model, I realize. So, Morgan and I are both practicing taking deep breaths and "breaks" (lots of breaks!) when we find ourselves butting heads. At times, I'm not sure which one of us is more stubborn.
Yet, at the same time, I find her making leaps and bounds into new territory. She has started playing indepen-dently with great enthusiasm lately. From the minute she wakes up, she is inventing some new game or imaginative scene with her toys. She scurries around the house, muttering to herself, as she plays and arranges. It's wonderful! Wonderful for her not just to need to be entertained by one of us, but wonderful to see her amazing imagination at work. She plays with her baby doll more now and gives it the sweetest kisses. And her passion for reading is taking on new levels, as she demands we read her a book whenever she is forced to sit still (like on the potty, at meals, and at bedtime). We go to a weekly story time at the neighborhood library, and I am amazed at her confidence and excitement for new situations and people. She has no problem walking right up to the librarian or chatting up other kids. And, like a true superhero, her physical skills are quite out of this world. She can now jump off of things with two feet, and seems to think that with that cape she can actually fly! She also runs faster than ever - meaning, I have to run to keep up with her or I will never see her again!
Yet one of the most touching things in the last few weeks has been the conversations we are having about her being a ........
Yes, Morgan will be a big sister come December, and she is understanding the idea much sooner than I expected. At first she thought I was playing some pretend game where we were both playing with babies. But now she knows that she is going to be a big sister and that Mommy's tummy "is going to get bigger and bigger and bigger!" She seems (at this point) willing to help out with the new baby and very excited about it. Although in the last couple days, she seems convinced that she also has a baby in her tummy. I'm not sure how to clear that one up, but apparently she is just trying to keep up with me!
So despite the adjustments we are having to make in order to live with our daughter's new alter ego, we know that she loves us more than anything. And that more than anything, she wants us to be proud of her and cheer her on in all her adventures. When I think about all the unconditional love she shows me every day, it makes me realize that I need to cut the girl some slack and let her be the supergirl she needs to be at the moment. This phase isn't going to last forever, and there is still a lot of pride, love and laughter in the midst of what, at times, feels like pure chaos. And somehow, through all of this, I think she is turning me into a superhero as well.
This video is short but sweet - the first few seconds are priceless. Here she is dancing to the "Dragon Tales" theme song, where she always runs for her grass skirt as soon as it comes on. Morgan is really learning to feel the music and groove!
I'm starting to wonder if it's me, but I seem to be having a hard time making new friends. When you have kids, it's supposed to get easier, right? You find yourself chatting with strangers at the park because both your kids are on the same play equipment - you ask how old their kid is, comment on how cute they are, and even commiserate a bit about whatever stage your kids are in at the moment. But then they walk off and you never see them again. Sometimes that's fine because their child is really annoying or they seem really weird, but other times you wish you had asked their name or given them your phone number or set up another time to meet up at the park. Instead you walk home with your little one.....the best friend you have at the moment.
Motherhood can be a bit lonely at times, particularly if you stay at home for all or part of the time. As my friend Naomi told me, it's not that you need or want to hear every other mother's personal birth story but you just want someone (an adult) to talk to about life - both as a parent and just as a person. So why is it so hard to make friends as an adult?
I don't think this is just an issue for me as a mom right now. I think it's been hard probably since I graduated from college. Throughout school, meeting people and making friends was easy because you had so much in common and not very much else going on in your personal life. But now, everyone has their own lives, each with old friends, habits, and routines. I'd like to think that you can never have "too many" friends, no matter how busy or full your life may seem. That there is always room for someone new to enrich your life in a way only they can. But the bottom line is you either click with someone or you don't. ( I often find it frustrating when Morgan meets a child that she gets along with so well, yet I find the kid's parent odd and I just can't connect.) Sometimes it takes time for you to realize if you click or not, but still you usually know pretty soon.
Sam, being the social guy he is, has encouraged many of my friendships. We were really lucky to have made amazing friends in Prague (where we all depended on each other like a family) and also in Eugene (where a bunch of us all were relatively new to town and looking for friends - and Sam joining an indoor soccer team helped too). Moving to Portland was easy because we had both our families here but also many college friends who had young kids as well. But they all had their own lives and friends after living here for years, and we haven't gotten together as much as we would like. So I really made an effort to make new friends and establish myself here, fighting my natural tendency to stay home and keep to myself. First I started with a play group at a community center down the street. It was for kids ages 1-3 and was a lot of fun for Morgan. Parents were really nice there, but after a while it turned out to be mostly full of nannies, who were young and very sweet, but who I didn't have a lot in common with. Then I tried the Spanish play group for a while, where I met a couple of nice moms, as well as practiced my Spanish, but our schedule changed and we couldn't go anymore.
The most promising source of friendship was our neighbors, who are from Germany and have a daughter Morgan's age. The girls love playing together and the mom also stays home. Perfect, I thought. We have so much in common, and I really wanted to reach out to her since I knew how hard it can be to make friends when you live overseas. But with neighbors, get-togethers are always kind of random, whenever you happen to see them in the back yard. I tried to capitalize on the first few meetings, offering to have them over for play dates and asking about their schedules. I thought we were on to something. But the mom was very reserved, like Czech reserved. Her English was fine as far as I could tell, but she just wasn't a chatty person. I'd ask questions and it would go no where. Was it me or her? Then winter came and we wouldn't see them for weeks at a time. I didn't have their phone number and felt weird about just knocking on the door. This was starting to feel like a bad dating experience....is making friends as an adult the same as dating??? (I much later realized that she had a lot of German friends whose husbands were also working for the same company, so I guess she wasn't as lonely as I thought.)
I haven't given up on meeting a new friend here, but what I have learned from all this is that old friends are gold. We all know that, especially as we get older. The friends that knew you when you were a little kid or a crazy college student or a pre-mom person. You bonded at a time when you both needed each other, not when you were trying to be polite or force something that wasn't really there. They know you best and you can relax when you are with them. If you don't hear from them or forget to call them for a while, you pick up where you left off. Old friends aren't high maintenance. They don't make you question yourself. Best of all, they will be there for you for a long time to come. Thank you to all my good, old friends out there!
Yesterday, Sam and I drove down to Eugene to do a little sprucing up on our house. We decided to put it on the market after living there for three happy years. We rented it out this year while we were in Portland, and since our tenant is moving out, we knew we had to give selling it a shot despite the crazy housing market.
We were kind of dreading the trip - knowing a day's worth of yard work was in store for us and not knowing what condition the house and yard would be in. We really didn't have to go down - our realtor and tenant were working together on the sale and showings. But for our own peace of mind (and probably because I have watched way too many HGTV shows about selling houses!) I felt we needed to go down and make it look it's best.
It turned out to be a really fun day. Morgan stayed with Grandma Dinda and Papa Ron and we got on the road early. The house was in better shape than we thought, and it looked great (our tenant has way nicer furniture than we do!) We saw our old neighbors, Norm and Sandra, who we now really like but it took us a while. Their dog Sissy was still on the other side of the fence wagging her tail. 
The weather was lovely and, although it was a bit hot, it was soooo nice to be gardening again. I don't know if Sam would say the same thing, but I have really missed my yard. I spent a lot of hours weeding, planting, digging, planning, pruning, sweating, and learning a lot about plants in that yard, and it was good to be back one more time. I could have spent days doing stuff, but we only had a few hours so I had to focus on the big things. While I was pruning a hydrangea that didn't get cut back over the winter, I was thinking about who the next owners might be and if they would even notice this. Would it take them a year or so to realize what needed pruning and when, like it did for me? Or would the next owners be amazing gardeners and transform the backyard into the place I had always wished I could make it. I didn't even know if potential buyers that saw the house would even notice the work Sam and I did yesterday, but it felt good to give our house a little TLC one last time. 
As Sam and I were taking a lunch break at Cafe Yumm, a favorite Eugene place, he looked at me across the table and said, "I need to buy you a house with a yard, don't I?" I nodded. As we plan and save for our next home in Portland, we have debated neighborhoods, school districts, livability, walk-ability, and condos versus houses. And I know I just can't live in a condo - I have to have a yard. The size doesn't matter, but after living at our house on Long Island Drive (and being raised by two parents who are passionate about plants), I know that part of my everyday happiness exists in being able to get my hands dirty and watch things grow, one season at a time.
I am not sure where April (or March, for that matter) went but I was apparently a bit distracted. Between engagements (yeah, Kimmy & Sanju!), Easter, sick family members, hosting a bachelorette party, and turning 35, the month somehow vanished. Here it is May already, and I am trying to get my brain back into blogging.
I have been lacking inspiration, although I have to say that Morgan is full of funny things to say these days. Now that she is healthy (again...at least for this week), she is full of giggles and songs that she makes up. Even her sense of humor is developing and she cracks her own jokes. I get excited when she gets my attention in an attempt to make an important declaration of some kind. Now, if I could only remember all the adorable things she has been saying! But they are probably ordinary things that come out of her mouth, but it's the way that she says them, how she cocks her head or the look in her eyes that I can't put into words. I am just lucky I get to watch and listen to all the things she does and thinks about these days. That...and a lot of naked running around, which she continues to embrace as regularly as snack and nap time.
A warm afternoon inspires a picnic near the UP campus with Daddy.
Morgan and her friend, Nicole, get silly at the zoo.
Sisters: celebrating Erica's 40th birthday!
Easter: first time dyeing Easter eggs -at the beach house, just like Mommy did when she was little.
Celebrating Kim & Sanjiv's engagement!
Fun at the park with the neighbor girl, Jolina.
Morgan's playhouse is now a jungle gym/bunker that she climbs in and out of. She is playing more independently these days which is so nice!
Toasting Elizabeth at her bachelorette party...can't wait for the wedding in June!
Getting into the swing of things - Morgan loves playing baseball!
A stop at Couch Park during our new tradition of Friday happy hour walks in NW. We may not be able to hit the bars like we used to, but just walking around the 'hood makes us happy.
Hugs with Aunt Nat! Morgan had fun celebrating cousin Noah's 10th birthday.
It was a small wedding at Ron and Dinda's condo in the Pearl District. Kim and Sanjiv said their own beautiful vows and shared a few laughs during the ceremony. And I have to say Kim looked absolutely gorgeous - her beauty was radiating from the inside out. Sanjiv is a very lucky man! After the ceremony, we all gathered outside to listen to some local high school students sing "All You Need is Love" a capella - a surprise to Sanjiv from Kim. Then the group serenaded us as we all paraded through Jamison Square to the reception across the park. It was very festive, unique and fun.
I have to say my daughter was a very good flower girl - very thorough in her flower petal dispersal and quite confident in front of a crowd of fifty people. Sitting still during the short ceremony, however, was not her forte, and instead she preferred to work the crowd. After all, she was right at home at Papa Ron and Grandma Dinda's place. But Morgan looked more beautiful than I thought she ever could, and Sam and I were very proud, to say the least.
It was such a joy to see two very happy people in love become husband and wife. I am so glad Kim and Sanju found each other, and we were so happy to be part of their special day. Congratulations to two of the most loving and wonderful people I know!!!
