A Block of Inspiration

When I tell people that Morgan goes to preschool two mornings a week, I am often asked, "so what do you do during that time?" Uhhh....I wish I had a really inspiring answer like saving the world, but I usually I say things like: shower, laundry, work out, shopping, etc. It is a complete luxury to have time to myself when I am a stay-at-home mom, but frankly, I think that is exactly reason to have time alone. I no longer have an "escape" at work (if you can call wrangling and educating two dozen 10-year olds an escape), so this is the time to give back a little to myself, even if it is just something simple like shaving my legs.
But this morning while Morgan was at school, I decided (after showering and throwing in some laundry, of course) to do something a bit more inspirational and visit the Portland Chinese Gardens. The one and only time I visited was with my friend, Naomi, when she was pregnant with her first child....that was over 6 years and three kids ago! The gardens are located in Old Town/Chinatown, and I often drive by thinking....I want to go back and visit one of these days. Today was the day, and while it turned out to be a rainy one after a string of sunny days, it made the gardens even more peaceful and beautiful.Red lanterns were hung in celebration of Chinese New year. The raindrops falling on the water seemed like they were planned to synchronize with the entire design. Plants were just starting to bloom - the daphne fragrant, the magnolia delicate white, the plums pink, and the weeping willow ... well, weepy. It is such a beautiful space and unique from every corner in which you stand. Even though it only fills one city block, there are so many nooks and crannies and different perspectives that I never got tired of the views. I wound around little stone paths, across bridges, and through stone arches into heavenly named places like Flowers Bathing in Spring Rain and Tower of Cosmic Reflections and Knowing the Fish Pavillion. It made me think about how we all might behave differently if people, places, and things here were named after an mood or inspiration rather than just an object.
Not only is it a beautiful place to visit, it allowed me a beautiful mental escape as well. Visiting alone forced me to slow down, pause, and focus on the present moment. I sat and observed with the luxury of knowing I did not need to be anywhere or accomplish anything in particular, at least for an hour or so. After taking lots of pictures and playing around with the different settings on my camera (because I could do that all I wanted without annoying my husband or neglecting my child), I went into the tea house to warm up and slow down some more. I started thinking about how much I miss traveling to foreign places, and how much of the world I have yet to see and about cultures and religions that I would love to learn more about. I thought about how I am almost 35 and already wonder how my 30s seem to be slipping my me. I thought about how lucky I am to have had the rich life I have, even if it all ended tomorrow. I thought about the life that Morgan has in front of her and all the wonderful things the world has to teach her. And I sat by the window looking out on the gardens, with my pot of Golden Monkey tea and a bowl of noodles in front of me. I seldom savor a meal, even one as simple as that, and it was good for me to sit and stare and sip and slurp...alone...anonymous. A luxury we all deserve, I think.

"Most cherished in this mundane world is a place without traffic; truly in the midst of a city there can be mountain and forest."

-Wen Zhengming (1470-1559)

It's Never to Early to Start Thinking of Careers....

BUS DRIVERPEDIATRICIAN
VETERINARY DENTIST
HULA DANCER
PRODUCE MANAGER & CHECK OUT GIRLCIRQUE DU SOLEIL PERFORMER

HAWAIIAN NANNYPERCUSSIONIST FOR PINK MARTINI
LANDSCAPE ARCHITECT

LIZA MINNELLI IMPERSONATOR

All Aboard the Potty Train!

About three weeks ago, Morgan and I hopped on the Potty Express in hopes of a smooth journey to Diaper-Free-Big-Girl Land. It's been an interesting ride so far, and since it has consumed my waking hours lately, I can't help but tell everyone about it. I never would have thought I would have so much to say (and even sing) about pee and poop, but that appears to be yet another perk of being a mom.

What I didn't anticipate is the roller coaster ride that it would be for me. Morgan seems to be taking it in stride, but somehow my emotional barometer is tied to whether or not something appears in the potty. This probably has to do with the fact that we have been in a pretty steady parenthood groove for a while. Having a toddler, instead of rapidly changing infant, has given us a sense of confidence, knowing how to handle most things that come our way. But potty training was something I secretly wished Morgan would just teach herself. For several months we'd been talking and playing potty time - with her pretending to go, making her doll go pee, watching Mommy use the bathroom, and all the other publicly inappropriate bathroom-related activities you can think of. Even though I know it's something that all parents do at some point....and everyone I know over the age of 4 or 5 seems to have this mastered, it still made me second-guess my parenting skills.

I'd read books that had ways to tell if your child was ready for potty training. I bought "supplies" to get ready (big girl undies, stickers, potty books, reward charts, pull ups, special wipes, etc. etc.), but none of that magically taught Morgan how to do it, or made me feel any more ready to take this on. And I didn't want to be one of those pushy parents that forced their kid to do something before they were ready. After all, she's the one in charge here - I really don't have much control over what she's doing (a lesson I'm sure I will be reminded of over and over over the next couple decades).

Then, as if there was a sign from the potty gods, we had the first annual "Naked Poncho Day." I could also have called it "No, Mom, I'm going to be naked and not get dressed and not go to play group where you have a chance to talk to adults and you will be my hostage here at home and yes I will wear only my green poncho Day!" but I didn't. Instead, I turned a moment of toddler spontaneity/insubordination into the kick-off day for potty training my daughter!

Fortunately for me, Morgan caught on pretty quickly once the diapers were off. We are slathering on the praise and cheers and hugs for all her success (as you can tell in the video below). In the beginning, every time Morgan made a "deposit" she got to call and tell someone - like Daddy or Grandma Dinda. She liked leaving detailed messages to like, "Hi, I went pee pee... in the potty. Bye." Once, we called Sam who was in the dining hall at the university and he had to discretely tell Morgan he was proud of her without the students around him catching on. Another time, we called Grandma Dinda and Aunt Amy and cousin Amanda happened to be at her house. Morgan received a round of applause and cheers from them over the phone - it was like a celebrity endorsement.

So while we are definitely not at the final destination on this journey, we have crossed some bumpy terrain and are well on the way to Diaper-Free-Big-Girl Land. And while I am not very proud of how much I have talked about the potty in the last few weeks to anyone who would listen, I am very proud of Morgan...and yes, a little proud of myself too.

[PS: I dedicate this blog post to my mom, who made sure I mastered this potty thing long ago. Thanks, Mom!]