Preschool = Free Time

Since Morgan started her new school last month, I have been getting some much needed time to myself back. So what have I been doing? Probably (besides napping and taking extra long showers) what I have been doing most is thinking about how I should best use my precious time and failing to accomplish much. I have big ideas and a nice to-do list, but lack the energy to do much. I'm hoping I will eventually get some kind of 'nesting' spurt and kick it into high gear, but I'm not holding my breath.

So instead I am trying to take advantage of my two full days off each week and ... be lazy. Of course having too much time on my hands often lets my brain wander too much, so I have started thinking about how much my world will rock about 5 or so weeks from now. I've gone from denial to panic to let's-just-keep-calm-now. The last one seems the hardest but the most important.

This pregnancy is so different from my first. The first time around I was so amazed with the process and watching my body change, but this time I am anything but impressed and feel much more self-conscious. I am more tired than I ever remember being with Morgan, but then again I wasn't a mom of a three-year old. And then there's the undeniable fact that I am three years older and that magic age of 35 where the medical profession seems to think you are past your prime. Maybe they are right!

But since I am trying not to fight all these things and accept what is happening, I have learned things that I hope will serve me well a few months from now. Everyone says 'every pregnancy is different,' and there is a lot of truth in that. Probably the most important thing I am learning is that the reason this pregnancy is different is because this new person is going to be very different from Morgan. I will learn different things about myself and life from parenting this new person. It's hard to imagine a brand new person coming into our lives but it's about to happen.

So for the next few weeks that I have to myself, I am enjoying grocery shopping alone, riding the streetcar to the Pearl district for a great prenatal yoga class, being on my own schedule for a while, and trying to imagine who this new little person is going to be and how I could possibly love him or her as much as Morgan.