NOOOOOOO-AAAAAAAAH!

I don't know if this is normal or not, but my daughter is in LOOOOOVE with her cousin, Noah. When "No No" is around, Morgan is a lovesick puppy, with dreamy eyes and drool literally coming out of her mouth. Everyone else (i.e., her devoted parents) are nonexistent, and it is All Noah, All the Time. Even though he is seven years older, that doesn't seem to deter her affections, as she chases after him, bordering on stalker-like behavior. She is definitely getting more creative in her attempts to get his attention (as you will see in the videos), and the pure joy on her face when she sees him is priceless. Thank goodness Noah is so polite and sweet with her, although I imagine that won't last forever. She will eventually get on his nerves, but for now it is really cute to watch. Here are some recent photos and videos of Morgan in Noah-heaven. :)



P.S. Thanks, Noah, for being such an awesome cousin!!!

Life is Beautiful

Yesterday, Sam and I learned that our dear friend, Kevin, passed away after a three-year battle with cancer. The news was a shock and slow to sink in, although when we saw him last month at our beach house in Oceanside, we knew it would probably be the last.

We first met Kevin at a job fair in New York. Somehow Sam convinced Kevin to hire Sam as a physics teacher at ISP, therefore making our two years living in Prague a life-changing reality. Our lives were blessed with incredible friendships, memories, and travel experiences during that time. Kevin was the best principal Sam had ever worked for, and one that Sam shared much in common with. He was an incredible leader and knew how to bring out the best in those around him, be they students, parents, or colleagues. He was also a true friend, with whom we shared our homes, meals and travels to beautiful places. Kevin loved basketball and loved to sing. It was probably his sparkling smile and mischievous eyes that made all who knew him instantly love him.

When someone you cherish dies too soon, it makes no sense. Kevin was only 57. My aunt Norma died quickly at age 60 from an aggressive form of breast cancer three years ago. These were incredible people that were a privilege to have known. It makes you wonder why things happen the way they do. Why do good, honest people get sick, while mean criminals live long ugly lives? The world is not a better place with them gone, although I am a better person for having known them.

Yet somehow, through all the confusion and sadness, you realize that life is such a beautiful thing. There are so many ways we are blessed, even though we rarely take the time to count these blessings. Like the dishes and laundry that never seem to end....those are a blessing because it means I have a family to care for. Or watching someone in your family struggle through a personal crisis....it is a blessing because it means they can lean on you for support, and you on them when times are tough. Or the people who will pass on during your lifetime....they are a blessing because it means you loved and were loved by them.

So today, I'm thinking a lot about Kevin, or "Special K" as a friend nicknamed him. I'm thinking about all our mutual friends who are grieving and reminiscing and missing him. I'm also thinking about how I want to spend the remainder of my life. No one knows how long we really have, who will be there along the way, or how things will ultimately end. Every day we make the choice (or don't make any choice) about how we will spend that day, week, month, or year...who will be there, who won't, where we will be, and what we will do. So I am going to try and see the beauty in life - the beauty that comes with joy, love, passion, change, fear and pain. It's all beautiful, and it's all part of life. How we will remember Kevin.......this was a catamaran cruise we took with him, his son Tarek, and his wife Lori, while we traveled with them in Barbados in 2004.

Techno-Toddler

Hmm, where does she get this from ...???

"Morgan Do It!"

It's been a while since I have blogged solely about our daughter. In the beginning, she was my main topic, so it's kind of nice that I have branched out. But lately, so much is changing in our lives as well as with Morgan's personality and what comes out of her mouth, that I feel the need to share all that she is becoming!

The move to Portland a few weeks ago seemed to suit Morgan. She settled in pretty well and seemed to like the new digs. Occasionally she would say things like "See Sondra in a couple days" (our old Eugene neighbor), or "Go to duck pond" (which was where we would go on bike rides). Those moments break my heart, as there is no possible way or point of trying to explain how her life has changed.

Yet as we march on toward Morgan's 2nd birthday in less than two months, I feel like I am in uncharted territory. The baby stage is long behind us and we are in full-on toddler land. I see other kids around 12 months old and I realize how much Morgan has changed. Her looks haven't changed too much in the last 6-9 months, but she is a completely different person. "Morgan do it" is a frequent command that we hear - she is growing up into such a big girl! But I am loving the personality that I see emerging everyday, and it makes me laugh, roll my eyes, sigh in exasperation, and feel sappy.....all at the same time. These are interesting times and I wonder if I am handling all these new behaviors the "right" way and creating the right amount of structure, boundaries, and consequences. My teacher brain can now be put to use more than when Morgan was tiny, but I still never taught kids this manic and unpredictable. Give me twenty-five 10 year olds any day!

One of Morgan's new things that she fixates on is climbing...on EVERYTHING! She loves to climb and stand up on chairs (and knows she's not supposed to), despite our attempts at "No, sit on your bottom please" a million times. And the kid is so clever that she will negotiate with a smile, like "sit on bottom? stand on chair? on knees?" "Hi mommy," she says to me the other day while I'm washing dishes. I turn and see her sitting in the middle of the dining room table... with a smile! Fortunately she is pretty cautious and steady, but if look away for a second she is up to something. I guess that's her point - she doesn't want us to look away at all!

On the other hand, she is beyond cute sometimes. She sings Barney's "I Love You" song word for word in a cute falsetto voice. She kisses the stuffed animals good-bye and tells them she loves them when we leave grandma's house. She asks us for "big hug" where Sam and I sandwich her and squeeze her tight. And she has gotten into the (probably bad) habit of cuddling and watching TV with us in bed in the mornings lately. She is so amazed by the world around her too - the butterfly in the yard, the garbage man picking up our trash, the streetcar and MAX trains that whir by, and definitely other kids! "Lil' boy!" she exclaims as she chases after one in the park. And now that we are back in Portland, seeing her spend more and more time with her grandparents is pretty priceless. There are times when I (and Sam too) wonder if I will keep my sanity in the coming year while I stay at home with her. I'm used to being busy and productive. I guess I will just let Morgan help me do that!Morgan likes to stand on and in everything!
Mo has finally decided she likes ice cream! Good thing there is an ice cream shop right by Papa Ron's house!
Morgan does this puzzle all by herself. She can also count to 11 and sing most of the ABCs! Morgan plays "Row Row Row Your Boat" with the laundry basket, serving spoons, baseball (?), and Mom's swim goggles. Sweet!
Morgan's infamous left arm hustle.A rare smile caught by the camera in our new back yard. The flowers are gorgeous, and our tiny deck is great for bubble blowing, playing with the hose, and eating popsicles. Morgan rides her "horse," Grandma ("Damma") Dinda, who always comes up with fun games to play.
Our first city bike ride along the Willamette last weekend. We loved it, but Mo doesn't seem that impressed.

And here are some funny videos of Morgan's latest antics: a new form of tennis she invented and yet another phone conversation, this time to her former nannies, Elizabeth and Justine ("Teen"). She definitely misses them! (Listen for the "how you doing?" and "what's up?")

Good Ol' Eugene

Many people have told us that the doctoral years are some of the best. You may be broke, but you will look back on those as some of the best. It is probably because they don't last forever. You know you will eventually have money again, so you don't mind the potlucks and penny pinching. You also know to make the most of it because you and many of your close friends will move on to new places in a matter of time.

As we start the next chapter of our lives - one in which we will raise children, live near our families, and have Sam hopefully get tenure - I wonder if we won't savor things as much when they come to us easier and when there is no "expiration date" on that phase in our life.
It was nearly four years ago that Sam and I moved to Eugene. We were coming from Prague, and after two fun-filled, adventurous years living in Europe, I was very emotional about moving back to Oregon. We had intense and amazing friendships and bonded with people in such a short time there, and I felt like we would never have an experience like that again. Although Eugene had always seemed nice, I was not that excited about moving there for four years, except for its proximity to Portland.

But in our last night in our house on Monday, with packed boxes sitting in every room, the tears came and I tried to make sense of why we were leaving a perfectly wonderful life. From everything to small-town living with a lovely river flowing through it, to fun memories with incredible and supportive friends who will hopefully always be part of our lives, to the birth of our first child, Eugene has brought us many things. I will miss so much about it, but I feel blessed that we were able to have our lives enriched by them at all. Here are some photos from all those good times.

GOOD BYE, EUGENE..............

Hawaiian Delights

It has been a while since I traveled anywhere, so going to Hawaii on a family vacation for 8 days was something I had been looking forward to for months. I knew this time would be different because we had a toddler along. I have traveled to Mexico, San Antonio, and Denver with Morgan, but as she enters each new phase and age, it is like starting from scratch - I really had no idea what to expect.I have learned, that just like teaching, the secret to parenthood is overplanning mixed with a lot of flexibility. Planning is something I am pretty good at, so I did it and did it and did it. Stuff was laid out a week ahead of time, I packed all kinds of presents and distractions for the plane rides, I had contingency plans for how to get by without a high chair, kitchen, and Morgan's favorite toys. I was set! But despite all of that planning, I didn't really realize how much I would have to continue putting Morgan's needs ahead of my own. (Duh! I am a mom - you think I would know that by now.)In reality, the plane rides, which I was dreading the most, went better than planned. Morgan actually slept for parts of them (taking off always made her crash) and between new toys and a DVD player, she was pretty occupied. Once we were in Hawaii, the 3-hour time change and weird nap/eating schedule, combined with lots of playtime with relatives and in the pool made Morgan very tired....overtired, in fact. Most days we were there we spent at least an hour trying to get Morgan to nap, to no avail. I didn't have high expectations she would sleep regularly, but when she was tired, I figured a nap was a good idea. Morgan had other ideas, however, like getting up at 4:30 in the morning. Then when she finally did sleep, Sam and I had to tag-team our activities while one person stayed in the room with her. One night I stayed home so Morgan could sleep while everyone went to a nice dinner in Kona. We all were a bit exhausted from not sleeping well, and eventually Sam and I began to realize that we had very little actual time together on this trip. I think we thought that with all the relatives along, we could be all carefree - like not even having a kid! Wrong. It had nothing to do with our family's willingness to help. They all loved hanging out with Mo and would always offer to watch and entertain her. But gradually, we had to adjust our own expectations of what kind of fun we were having with our toddler along. I finally realized that parenthood (and life, for that matter) is filled with little moments of bliss, surrounded by often frustrating, tiring, and annoying bits. It is not going to be a series of fun-loving hours to enjoy all day long. So instead, you must be aware of those little moments, like when you feel your heart warm with pride in your child, when you can't stop smiling, when you see something so beautiful you want to burn it into your memory, or when you are filled with a deep sense of gratitude at what life has brought you - regardless of how or when it got there.
So here are some of those special blissful moments I will always remember from our trip:

* Sipping yummy Mai Thais and Fredericos at the Hua Tree beachside bar and talking about life - something I rarely have time for these days.
* Despite already being awake for two hours, getting coffee and watching Morgan play on the shady sand at 6:30am before the sun came up over the hotel.* Swimming with sea turtles and at least a hundred species of fish, I was re-amazed at the huge diversity and beauty of sea life in a coral reef - it took my breath away.
* Breakfast! Everyday it was a delight to peruse the yummy buffet, indulging in Eggs Benedict, freshly made waffles, tropical fruits, bagels with lox, and topping anything off with coconut syrup and macadamia nuts!
* Taking time for a beach side yoga class, where I could gaze out at the sea or look up at the waving palm trees. It reminded me how much I miss and need yoga in my life.* Jumping the waves to get our kayak out to paddle in the peaceful bay - it was one of the few quiet moments Sam and I had together. :)
* Watching our daughter play with her parents, aunt, all four grandparents, and great-grandmother - four generations together. She delighted them all and adored being with them, especially with her emphatic shouts of "Come on, guys!"* Taking "Mimi" (the monkey harness) and Morgan for walks to see the koi fish pond and birds (parrots) that she couldn't get enough of.* Spending a wonderful grown-up night out with my husband, where I was treated to a beautiful lei, a surprise dinner, and an amazing sunset. I can't believe that after 9 years of marriage, it gets better every year.* Swimming laps across the bay in the early morning as the sun rose over my shoulder. The water was amazing and it felt so good to swim in the sea.
* Seeing Morgan and Aunt Kimmy's love and bond with one another grow with every moment they were together, whether it was going for walks, singing, dancing, visiting the Buddah statue, or just giving each other a "big hug" and a "big kiss."* Our pot-luck cocktail parties in Kim's room and beach side for the 4th of July.
* Swimming and floating and chatting in the ocean with my dad - like we used to do in Hawaii and Mexico.* Being thankful for the gift of family. Despite health challenges and life's ups and downs, I have an amazing family and am thankful for being with people who love me so unconditionally. * Although sometimes frustrated at the "inconvenience" of having Morgan along, I relished seeing her discover every little thing, all for the very first time. I continue to see life in new ways through her curious, joyful eyes.

Happy Father's Day, Sam!

It is a bit belated, but I wanted to make sure Sam knew what a great Daddy he is to Morgan! As time goes on with Morgan in our lives, it is so much fun to watch the two of them play and bond. The photo to the left is one year ago at Oceanside. It is one of my favorite pictures of the two of them.

Lately, some of Morgan's favorite Daddy moments are getting out beach towels and ordering Sam to drag her around the house on them. She also loves climbing on his back while he lays on the floor and go for rides while Sam does push-ups. In the mornings when I go into her room, it is so cute because she always asks about Daddy. She usually says "Daddy seeping" (sleeping) or "Daddy shouwa" (shower) in this all-knowing way of hers. If he's still in bed, we both climb back in there and hang out as a family. Morgan is usually climbing all over us or trying to turn on Sam's clock radio, but it is one of our favorite parts of the day.

Recently, Morgan discovered ribbons and loves playing with them. Here are my two buddies playing either dress-up or Rambo - not sure which!I love you, Sam! Thanks for being such an amazing father and great parenting partner!